Scully recaps the past 23 years, which is an extended version of the Super Bowl preview.
Scully’s narrated intro is a nice bookend to the season. Mulder’s narrated intro in My Struggle I was similar but ended up focusing on aliens; Scully’s was similar, but with new information learned this season, ended with a conspiracy of powerful men not aliens.
Scully walks into work to discover Mulder is not there. She sits at his desk and opens his laptop to find Tad O’Mally. She watches some of the video until Tad calls her, asking her to come to Mulder’s house, which has probably seen better days.
Cut to Scully, Einstein and Skinner talking about Mulder’s disappearance and Tad’s claims. Einstein brought some tude with her.
Skullinstein are walking through the hospital with the name that never fails to inspire hope: Our Lady of Sorrows… When they come across a guy with a bit of an arm issue.
Cut to Mulder driving while very tired. He looks in about the same shape as his house. His phone rings, he picks it up, ignores it, sees he’s rockin a 40 percent charge and speeds up to go find a charger.
Question: How low do you let your phone charge get to before panic sets in? Answer: 40 percent
Question: Not knowing how the rest of this episode plays out, did you think Mulder went on a drunken rampage, or was possibly listening to dubstep music? Answer: Yes and yes.
Skullinstein are in the lab drawing blood and talking about the possibility of everyone’s DNA being tampered with.
Miller walks in and says, “people are freaking out, man!” They all tune into another Tad video, where he is talking about a global contagion. Scully realizes what is actually happening: immune systems are being compromised, opening everyone up to all kinds of diseases.
A passed out Mulder awakes only to ignore a call from Scully and realize his charge is now down to 30 percent! Luckily, there’s enough charge left for Miller to use the ‘find a phone’ app on Mulder’s computer.
Skullinstein continue bickering over whether this contagion is happening or not. Scully gets a call from Reyes.
Scully and Reyes meet up and have a most awkward kiss on the cheek. Reyes then drops some truth bombs on Scully.
She tells a story about what happened after season 9. The Cigarette Smoking Man summons Reyes to his hospital bed. He’s seen better days. He recruits her to help him smoke cigarettes, and maybe a little more….
We then see a wicked fight scene between Fox “the original Jason Borne” and a henchman. Mulder prevails and confronts the CSM.
Now we know what happened to Mulder’s apartment and face. I was hoping for the drunken rampage scenario.
Question: Is Reyes CSM’s sex slave? Answer: Ewww… and yes, probably.
Back to Mulder and the CSM. He swats a cigarette out of his hands. (Props to the sound engineer for a most righteous karate chop sound effect.) The CSM reveals his plan is to save the world.
Tad is back on the air and going off the deep end, talking about graffiti and chemtrails.
Scully drops the Reyes truth bombs on Einstein, revealing people were infected through the smallpox vaccination and alien DNA is the only thing that will save you.
The CSM and Mulder keep having a back-and-forth when the CSM reveals his freak face
Skillinstein are back in the lab when the nurse walks in. She’s seen better days.
Note: This is the same villainous plot as:
Question: How’d you like that freak face? Answer: I liked it.
Tad is back on reporting the widespread chaos. He offers those suffering a bit of advice, “stay indoors.”
Skillinstein are talking about sciency things when Einstein figures they didn’t take a large enough sample of Scully’s cells?
Miller comes to save Mulder and the CSM says, “How far do you think you’ll get? You don’t know how well we planned.”
Skillinstein are back playing in the lab when it is discovered Einstein is feeling a little under the weather. Uh oh!
Miller loads Mulder in the car. Mulder tells him he refused to ask the CSM for the cure because it’s exactly what he wanted.
Scully promises everyone she’s close to a cure. She offers a bit of advice to Miller that Mulder should hear, “keep your phone charged.” She then begins administering the magic alien IV to Einstein.
Tad is back and is just being a real downer. Scully single-handedly stops a riot from forming all while texting Tad to let him know there’s a cure.
Scully finds Mulder on the bridge, realizes he’s seen better days, and he needs stem cells. She then decides to hunt down William and harvest him for his stem cells.
The same ship that blasted Svetka shows up, fires its blaster, destroying the bridge and obliterating Mulder, Scully, Miller and everyone else. The blast was so powerful it’s effect was felt around the world. Tsunamis devastated coastal cities, earthquakes sent California into the ocean, Donald Trump was elected president and tornadoes killed millions. It was clearly the end times. After the moon crashed into the earth, the sky was covered in soot for years, killing off all human life. And as the last human alive took his final puff from his neck hole, he knew it was somehow all worth it.